One of the greatest things about birthdays is the hopes and wishes you bring into the next year, and feeling like you have the opportunity to improve yourself and your life. This year in particular for me is a big one. Not only have I just undergone a major medical transition and decision period, but it is also my 21st Birthday, which is more of a big deal for others. Because of the CDI (Continuous Diphenhydramine/Benadryl Infusion), I can't drink, but any milestone like this should call for a moment of reflection and celebration, because my health has been so precarious. I have had many close calls this year, transitions, decisions, and accomplishments that I probably should give myself more credit for. Some big ones I can think of are maintaining above a 3.75 GPA, holding a job (even though it is online) in and out of the hospital, managing my health situation, maintaining sanity and mostly a positive attitude, fighting for what I believe in, obtaining a scholarship to obtain a conference (that I unfortunately won't be able to attend), and becoming more active in general decision making. My anxiety finally has decreased-- it is still high, but I see improvement.
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| Grades from Online Classes (sorry, I know I am bragging) |
My birthday itself is on Monday. I have plans for dinner with a friend and my immediate family, but nothing else planned yet. I tried to look online for some ideas of things to do but everything seems to involve drinking, smoking, or gambling. I am hoping I will feel better by Monday too because the past few days, I have been trying to figure out when to give myself a bolus (extra) dose of Benadryl. I was told that I was not bolusing often/early enough. I don't like to do it, because that is when I do actually experience some drowsiness. Over the weekend, I have been tasked with giving myself the extra dose with any major symptoms, so hopefully by Monday, I will have a better hang of it and have less fatigue. In an attempt to do a "clean start" for my birthday, I have been staying up too late cleaning up my room and desk. I also end up cleaning or organizing things around the rest of the house because I feel guilty, even though nobody has asked me to actually do any of it. This has NOT been helping matters, which is another thing I need to manage better. It feels good to have everything cleaned up, but it is not helping me feel better physically.
Otherwise, things have been going well. Unfortunately, my primary care doctor is moving, so that is another transition happening at the same time that we are hoping to get sorted out this week. Tonight I change the tubing on my pump by myself for the first time. Academically, I started my American Sign Language course. It is all online, and I found it to be a little overwhelming at first, but things seem to be more manageable now that I actually understand how the course works. I have my first test either tomorrow or Sunday. I am lucky to have multiple friends who know ASL if I need help, and I can take the course pass/fail if necessary as well. Food wise, I feel like all I have been doing is eating, but I have noticed that I am getting less energetic around meal times, which I think means that I need to be eating more or more protein, both things I have been working on.
I certainly am ready to go back to school sometime soon-- the plan is the beginning of August. With my clean up, I am sorting some items out for school as well. I have checked with home health and my pharmacy, and they said that they will be able to help facilitate the transition when the time comes.
My plan for the rest of the evening is to watch Live PD, a favorite Friday/Saturday night tradition, and do my tubing change for the first time. For the weekend, Cody has a baseball party tomorrow, and I would like to finish up some of my cleaning. Thank you all again for your love and support, and I will post again soon!
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